So you’ve broken my heart and you’ve torn it in two…how can I be happy, if I am not with you?"

Yes, it’s raining and raining hard here in brokenheartsville. The good news is that although it’s painful, I have some tips and tricks that will ease the hurt and get you on the road to sunshine and recovery…let me know if you find a rainbow at the other end!

Sadly, this is a very familiar situation and it sucks. You really really really really liked him. You loved him. And…doesn’t matter how it happened….suddenly you don’t have him anymore.

The first step to getting over him is to look at how it happened:

HE DUMPED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So he’s turned around and dumped you. Now not only do you have that big, gaping, hollow pain in your stomach but you’ve also suffered the humiliation of dumpsville. Chances are, if he chucked you, its because he doesn’t want to be with you. If he’s chucked you for another girl he’s a slimeball and not worth thinking about.

I DUMPED HIM!

If you really love this boy then I’m guessing you dumped him because (a) he cheated on you or (b) there was some difference in your two life paths or some disagreement that meant you can’t be happy together. Think about it. You dumped him because you knew it was best or because he’s done something unforgivable. Now look forward to the good things in your life without him. On the other hand, if you realize you’ve made a BIG mistake, then it might be worth looking at the I WANT HIM BACK page on this website.

6 STEPS TO HEALING THAT BROKEN HEART:

1) Have a good, long cry.

Crying, although it’s upsetting, will actually make you feel better once you’ve stopped. Find a nice quiet place to cry your eyes out where you wont be disturbed. Although might feel like you need your mates right now, at this point you need to be alone with your thoughts and your tears for an hour or two or even a few days. It varies from girl to girl.

2) Friend’s the word

NOW you need your friends. Or, if you feel you’re not close enough to any of your friends, you need your family. Tell them exactly what happened and how you’re feeling. Have a good bitching sesh with the girls about your ex-boy. You’ll be suprised at how easily they manage to list his bad points.

3) Throw Him Away

At this point you don’t need any reminders of your boy, even if you parted agreeing to ‘be friends’. I should warn you it’s very difficult to be ‘just friends’ with someone who’s broken your heart. Delete his number AND his text messages from your mobile phone. Throw away his picture, or, if you can’t bring yourself to do that, get one of your friends to keep it at their house so you won’t be tempted to go and look at it. If you’re REALLY cut up, tear up his picture into tiny bits and throw them in the bin. You’ll feel exhilarated, but that’s not for the faint hearted.

4) Get Out There

Getting over love takes time, though the length of time varies from girl to girl. If you want to get over him though, you need to stop moping and get out of the house. Don’t go looking for anyone new just yet though…even if you want him to eat his heart out. Spite might relieve your anger temporarily but it won’t do anything for your healing process in the long run…if he gets jealous you’ll think he wants you back and start hankering after him again. Get out with your girlie friends and go shopping/clubbing/partying. Have girlie sleepovers. Remind yourself of the reasons why single life is good. List all the advantages. Concentrate on having a good time. The more you get out, the less you think about him. The less you think about him, the more you start to get over him.

5) Revisit your love

Ok, if you’ve gone out enough and you’re starting to feel normal-ish again, take a deep breath and revisit your love. You have to prove to yourself that you’re really over him. If you’ve been avoiding him, take the time to talk to him and look at him again. Don’t avoid going to the places that were special to the two of you. Otherwise, you’ll find yourself stumbling across these reminders, months later, and suddenly bursting into tears. This is one of the hardest parts of the healing processes, but it’s well worth it in the end. If at this point, you’re still feeling really really really wistful and sad for him, repeat step 4 and carry on doing this until you feel relatively normal again.

6) New love?

Ok, this step is optional. You may decide that single life without boys is the bomb and you’re having a whale of a time doing just whatever you want. You go girlfriend! Good for you! But there’s nothing wrong with flirting or getting a new boyfriend now, if that’s what you want. Just remember, you’re special no matter if you have a boy in your life or not, and whatever decision you make, its all up to you!

The Computer Geek

How To Recognise Him: You probably know the type I’m talking about. He’s very clever, probably in all the top sets. His main things are his computer, his gameboy, his playstation…you understand. That is his life. I do not wish to stereotype, but he will probably either have really nasty hair or he will put so much gel on it that it will resemble a pan of chip fat. He can be quite good-looking but doesn’t really take much time on his appearance. He hangs around with other computer geeks and the chances are you won’t be able to stand them. He can be outwardly funny and goofy but inside lurks a shy, sensitive little creature.

Where You’ll Find Him: Primarily, anywhere there is a computer. He may be in the library. Or, he will be hanging out with his friends in the usual computer geeks’ hideout…your job is to find wherever your school’s one is.

He Likes: His computer and playstation/gameboy, obviously. He likes having a laugh, but you may find his sense of humour weird…whatever turns you on! He also likes girls, though it may not seem that obvious.

He Dislikes: Losing a computer game, Other boys who are not on ‘his level’, and ‘normality’.

How To Get Him: If your usual flirting style is very outrageous, please don’t try it on him. Chances are he’s very shy, or failing that, just not interested. However, you will need to be obvious, because he may be clever but he’s very dim when it comes to stuff like that. So Obvious, but NOT outrageous. If you know anything about computers or games or whatever, that’ll impress him as a conversation starting point, but if not, please don’t embarass yourself.

The Busy Hands Boy

How to recognise him: He’s always chasing, following, or touching/hugging/putting his arm around some girl, and it’s always a different one. The kind of boy you’d usually take a ten mile hike to avoid (well, that’s me, not sure about you). Unfortunately, he’s usually drop dead gorgeous and therefore very difficult to resist. He’ll have gelled, spiky hair and a cheeky, flirty smile. He’ll also have a looooooooooooong history of ex-girlfriends.

Where You’ll find him: Either with his mates talking (in a very degrading manner, obviously) ABOUT girls, or with a girl trying to butter her up. He’s probably very popular, with a large group of friends, so chances are you’ll know his territory anyway.

He Likes: Jordan, Britney, J.Lo, Beyonce…..Girls in general

He Dislikes: Girls kicking him where the sun don’t shine. (When you’re this kind of boy, it does happen on a regular basis)

How To Get Him: Basically, to get this boy, you have to play hard to get. He loves the challenge of the chase and if you give in to him straight away, the chances are he’ll get bored with you. If he hasn’t noticed you, flirt very outrageously with him so that he DOES notice you. Once you’ve got him eating out the palm of your hand, suddenly cool off. It’ll leave him determined to get you, and once he does, he’ll be much keener to hang on to you for as long as possible. It will also keep his hands away from any OTHER girl who dares to cross his path.

The Untouchable Boy

How To Recognise him: This one’s not hard to recognise. He doesn’t need to be fantastically good-looking (though this is often the case) but there’s always SOME little thing about him that gets the girls flocking to him like sheep.Something you can’t quite put your finger on. Loads of girls fancy the pants off him, but he is simply very, very, very picky. He doesn’t want any of them. He’ll have a haughty air, and probably a dry or cynical sense of humour. He’s popular amongst his friends as the joker of the group.

Where You’ll Find Him: In the middle of his group of friends, making them all laugh, or blowing off some poor girl.

He likes: Well, not many of the girls that like HIM, that’s for sure. He likes his friends, and his playstation.

He Dislikes: See above sentence about girls. He also hates being got the better of.

How To Get Him: Similar strategy to busy-hands boy, but more subtle. First off, you HAVE to start an argument with him. A fun-one, obviously, not a serious one, or he’ll never look at you again. That way, you’ll always have a conversation-base and something to tease him with. And when this boy starts teasing you, you know you’re on to a good thing. When he teases, you flirt and tease him back. Smile at him a lot…he likes that.

Tomorrow I’ll swim back to shore
But right now the water feels just right
Tomorrow I’ll start to let go
But please just give us tonight
Tomorrow I’ll forget I loved you
I knew soon enough I would
But for the moment just let me hold you
Because my heart doesn’t always want what it should
Tonight my heart is yours
It’s tired of the doubts in my head
I’m not thinking of tomorrow
Only of the words you said
You told me to follow my heart
And tonight that’s what I’m going to do
I’m going to lay here in your bed
And fall asleep with you
So as I’m lying in your arms
I’m silently wishing for the sun never to rise
And we can just stay the way we are
And I can stay lost in your eyes
But reluctantly I know that this has to end
Because my fragile, delicate heart I can no longer lend
So tomorrow I’ll swim back to shore
But right now you feel just right
And tomorrow I’ll take back my heart
But keep it for the rest of the night

Psychologists have long declared that color adds excitement and emotion to our lives. From royal purples to natural greens to aggressive reds, the colors we choose have always been intimately tied to how we’re feeling. We feel blue, turn green with envy, and get red hot with anger. Colors can cheer us up and relieve anxiety. Or, if not used properly, they can be intrusive and cause people to pay more attention to what we’re wearing than what we’re saying.

Walls painted peach or yellow promote relaxation. White backgrounds used on detergent boxes, low tar cigarettes and diet sodas subtly indicate cleanliness, purity and low calories. When the economy is in deep trouble, check out how much gray is featured in upcoming fashion. Nordic people are drawn to cool greens and blues, while extroverted Latins favor warm reds and oranges. What about you? What do your favorite colors reveal about your personality? Read on.

• Orange: The color of autumn was named in the tenth century after the fruit. Although it has a strong relationship to food, fruit and spices, orange has always been a second string color, taking a back seat to red and yellow. If orange, the color of heat, fire and the harvest is your favorite color, you probably get along well with others. You tend to be social and hate to be alone. If you’re feeling down in the dumps, adding a tad of orange to your day can help.

• Yellow: Yellow is the color of the creative and artistic individual. If it’s your favorite, you have a cheerful spirit and are inclined to be intellectual, idealistic and imaginative. The color yellow has been found to reduce theft in stores and improve the thought process of young children. Energetic yellow is used to draw most "happy" pictures.

• Green: Green reminds us of freshness, security, jealousy and camouflage. It symbolizes new growth and increases our sense of well-being. "Green rooms" in theaters promote a clam, restful atmosphere. The color of most of the world’s currency, green is considered secure and stable. If it’s your favorite, you are an affectionate, loyal friend who is inclined to be frank and moral. You’re a person whose reputation is very important to you and when you start something, you finish it.

• Red: Dynamic red is the color of love, courage, anger and joy. It demands attention and helps create a cheerful atmosphere. Some studies have shown people become hungry around the color red. If you prefer red, you are impulsive, possibly athletic, sexy and given to mood swings. You are determined to experience life to its fullest.

• Blue: Blue, the color of tranquility, the color of the sea and the sky, is both the color of peace and the color of royalty. Its calming effects make it the color of choice for hospital nurseries. If blue is your favorite color, you crave harmony. You are capable, sensitive and make an outstanding friend. You are cautious in your manner of dress and conscientious at whatever you’re working on.

• Violet: Violet, the color of luxury and sensuality helps release creativity. Its lavish nature is seen on religious robes and smelled in expensive perfumes. If violet is your favorite, you may think your strong, sensitive, observant personality makes you quite unique. Chances are you are artistic and enjoy being creative and glamorous. Although you confide in friends, it’s tough sometimes for them to "get" you. Some caution against wearing violet around the sick because it’s draining.

Grace tried hard not to cry as she stood holding the phone. Two minutes before she heard from Stacy that Jill and Kim were sure she had the answers to the math midterm before the exam and she was selfish not to share them and it wasn’t fair that she made honor roll this semester.

Daisy couldn’t believe it when she was called into the guidance counselor’s office. She couldn’t for her life figure out why Mrs. Linden wanted to see her. She was totally shocked when Mrs. Linden asked if it was true that she was thinking of running away from home because she hated her mother’s new boyfriend.

When the conversation stopped as Gena approached her table in the cafeteria she didn’t pay much attention. Until three of the guys slunk away, leaving Stephanie and Corrina red-faced and embarrassed. It didn’t take much coercing to learn that the boys were talking about how Josh dumped her because she always wanted to get high.

Whether it’s fueled by jealousy or boredom or the power of being the person "in the know," reveling in the misery of others is as old as time. Grace, Daisy, and Gena were all victims of nasty rumors. Gossip, the dangerous weapon that can ruin reputations and poison relationships, defines who’s in and who’s out. In a recent study, as much as 50% of teenage girls’ conversations consisted of gossip, mostly about other girls. Their gossip is different than boys’ gossip. We talk about family, friends, people we knew very well. Boys tend to gossip more about sports figures or people in their class they hardly know.

Is all gossip bad?

According to researchers, everyone begins to gossip almost as soon as we learn to speak. It’s a part of human nature as word of mouth is joined by dozens of magazines, 50 television talk shows, five tabloids and now cyber gossip via e-mail.

Gossip performs important social and psychological functions to unify groups and gives information to group members about the limits of acceptable behavior. It doesn’t make you a bad person to find comfort in the fact that the famous and thin thighed and gifted among us are just as miserable as the rest of us. If we read bad news about a celebrity or get into the gruesome details of our friend’s misery, our own problems begin to pale in comparison.

If you participate in gossip

Gossip is like fast food…juicy, delicious and bad for you. If you gossip all the time your friends might not trust you with their secrets. They might feel you’d sell them out for a good story to tell. Next time just try walking away. If the person talked about is a friend of yours, stand by her and say you don’t believe it. Again, like fast food, it’ll be pleasurable for a moment but you’ll feel lousy afterward. Don’t repeat it.

If you are the target

While gossip boosts the self-esteem of those spreading it, creating a feeling of intimacy among the "in" group, and serving as an emotional release valve for expressing negative feelings, it doesn’t at all help the person they are talking about.

If you are the subject of a false rumor:

• Try hard not to protest too much. That just reaffirms to the rumormongers that you are lying.
• Try to get through the day as if nothing were different. Finding who started it and getting revenge might feel good for a moment but will only result in getting you into trouble and making you look guilty. These responses are based on impulses, not careful thought. Try choosing how best to respond rather than just exploding with emotion.
• After finding out the truth, confront the person calmly. Let them try to explain. If you don’t get satisfaction, a trip to the guidance counselor might be in order.
• Time will heal. The rumor about you will soon be replaced with the next hot story of the week. Your composure might cause that rumor to die an early death.

Try to be playful about this. Flirting is easy. Effective flirting starts with one simple thing and that is getting him talking about himself. The important thing to remember is that showing interest by listening is appealing. Here is how to do it: Make eye contact. Don’t stare because this is uncomfortable. Hold the other person’s gaze and smile. By doing this you show friendliness and self confidence (even when you don’t feel confident), which are the most important qualities you can have. Start the conversation. "Hi", do you want to dance", and "that’s a cool shirt" are among comments that will work on a guy. -You will want to expand the conversation and you do this by saying a line or two about yourself. Examples are: "I really love (your favorite new movie or CD)" or "I am learning to play tennis. It is really different from the team sports I have played." This gives him a chance to pick up on what you are saying if he is interested in continuing the conversation. Check his look out and use it to get him talking about himself. If he is wearing a team shirt, say, "I heard you enjoy (what ever sport it is)." Or if he has some band’s stickers all over his book bag, ask him what he thought of their latest song. Let him make the next moveTry to be playful about this. Flirting is easy. Effective flirting starts with one simple thing and that is getting him talking about himself. The important thing to remember is that showing interest by listening is appealing. Here is how to do it: Make eye contact. Don’t stare because this is uncomfortable. Hold the other person’s gaze and smile. By doing this you show friendliness and self confidence (even when you don’t feel confident), which are the most important qualities you can have. Start the conversation. "Hi", do you want to dance", and "that’s a cool shirt" are among comments that will work on a guy. -You will want to expand the conversation and you do this by saying a line or two about yourself. Examples are: "I really love (your favorite new movie or CD)" or "I am learning to play tennis. It is really different from the team sports I have played." This gives him a chance to pick up on what you are saying if he is interested in continuing the conversation. Check his look out and use it to get him talking about himself. If he is wearing a team shirt, say, "I heard you enjoy (what ever sport it is)." Or if he has some band’s stickers all over his book bag, ask him what he thought of their latest song. Let him make the next move

ALL ABOUT GIRLS!

GUTS. AMBITIONS. AND NERVES OF STEEL (THATS WHAT GIRLS ARE MADE OF)

Some boys are always saying "your acting like a girl" or
"you fight like a girl" well if boys saw what girls are really made of then they would know that girls aren’t
"chickens" or "babies" or even "shopaholic" we are
girls and NO ONE CAN STOP US!!!